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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

SEX!

Sex is a very real part of everyday life, but that doesn’t mean it should be as casual as say . . . eating a hamburger for lunch. The one argument I hear most often from people who are opposed to teaching abstinence in our schools is “They’re going to do it anyway so let’s just teach them how to do it safely.” Am I the only who is offended by this reducing of humanity to the level of dogs and livestock?

One of the things that defines humanity in reference to the rest of the animal kingdom is the ability to deny ourselves both needs and wants a will. No other animal willingly fasts except to protect its young. No other animal passes up pleasure for discomfort. No other animal restrains itself sexually.

Pigs have no choice when it comes to sex. When the sow is in heat she emits pheromones that get the male all riled up. The boar breathes on the female, and pheromones in his breath cause the sow to need it and need it now. Then they mate. When a female dog is in heat not only is she uncontrollably horny, but any male that smells her is too. Among other primates the female only restrains herself long enough to pick the strongest mate, then all bets are off. The only other animal I know of that exercises any sexual restraint is wolves, and then only because the alphas will severely punish or kill anyone else who mates.

Humans on the other hand have none of these instinctual drives that completely override our senses. We refrain from sex even if we really want it for any number of reasons. We fast, sometimes for days or weeks even though we have food readily available. We refrain from consuming alcohol even though we generally like it. We restrain our violent impulses even when we are so enraged we don’t know how we are containing ourselves. No other animal in the world has such restraint.

Why then, are so many people so fatalistic when it comes to sex?

Personally, I think it’s a male-driven industry. We men are typically the aggressors in sexual circumstances. We men have a generally higher sex drive than women. Men are sexually simple, needing only an image or a thought to become aroused, while women have a whole host of thoughts and emotions mixed into their libido. If anyone stands to gain from a sexually permissive society it is men, not women.

Human beings have more emotions mixed into sex than any other creature on the planet, women even more so than men. Men are able to compartmentalize our sexualize activity from our emotions to a large degree. For women sex is so integrated with emotion that such compartmentalization is impossible unless a woman has been emotionally damaged sexually. All to often men are only too happy to do this damage.

It is said that women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex. How many of us have heard or heard of some horny guy saying “I love you, don’t you love me?” or something to that effect to get into a woman’s panties. The man doesn’t mean it when he says it; he’s just manipulating the woman’s emotions to get what he wants. Other tactics include “It’s okay if you’re scared” which is designed to put the woman on the defensive and back her into a corner where she has no choice but to relent sexually to save face, and pouting after rejection, pulling away emotionally to punish the woman for holding back until she is so overwhelmed that she relents just to keep her man. They’re dirty tactics, but they work.

Women on the other hand have this amazing tendency to fall into this trap: If I don’t have sex with him he’ll leave for someone who will. Ladies, if this guy is so shallow and cold why would you want to keep him in the first place? Listen up, when we men decide we love a woman we go ahead and marry her so we don’t lose her. It allows us to place ownership (sexually) and keeps the object of our undying affection close to us. If your man is a shallow fiend who is only interested in sex there is nothing to stop him from cheating even you are giving it to him. On the other hand, if he respects you and loves you enough to wait odds are he will remain faithful, as long as you do not go frigid after the wedding.

Sex is a beautiful thing. It is the ultimate expression of love between two people, and as such belongs strictly within the bounds of marriage. Within the bounds of marriage sex is safe, fun, beautiful, and bonding. Outside of marriage you take your life into your hands, risk single parenthood, disease, sterilization, terrible emotional damage as the bonds you create are broken over and over again, creates distrust for men (in women), and, while drug-like in excitement level, ultimately empty.

There is no good reason for us as a society to be promoting promiscuity. Some promote it for money, after all, sex sells, and others for ideology, “I wanna get laid.” Yet, in spite of all of this we still have a choice, and the will to make it. Treating premarital sex as though it were inevitable does far more harm than good. Schools and parents need to teach abstinence until marriage, then utter sexual freedom within the marriage, not “I know you’re going to do it so have a condom/sponge/diaphragm/pill/shot and so-on.”

Yes some people will still choose to have premarital sex or commit adultery. It’s a sad fact of life that we must deal with. But if we teach our children, especially our little girls to respect their bodies, and show them how love behaves then there will be less of it, and consequently less disease, abortions, broken hearts, poverty, and deaths. This sounds like a very good reason to teach abstinence, and to chuck promiscuity with condoms out the window.

17 Comments:

  • I can agree with you once again, sir Daniel.

    Although with the caveat that I'm for some of both when it comes to teaching. Abstinence and protection.

    Still, twice in as many days I've at least partially agreed with you.

    The world IS coming to an end (or maybe it's just a clever liberal plot to make you question your position?).

    By Blogger Dan Trabue, at 1:18 PM  

  • Ah, Dan, I am stating only very conservative positions here. Perhaps your liberalism is beginning to wear thin?

    By Blogger Daniel Levesque, at 1:33 PM  

  • Or perhaps you have a poor image of what progressives stand for?

    Seriously, not you so much, but around the conservative blogs I visit, you see an awful lot of demonization and ad hominem attacks.

    "Liberals are fer terrorists and rapists and they hate God and piss on the bible! The best thing to do with hippies is to hunt them down like the traitors they are."

    Sound familiar?

    By Blogger Dan Trabue, at 1:36 PM  

  • Dan, in the arena of sex; conservatives have been battling liberals who are actively promoting promiscuity, homosexuality, abortion, and other behaviors most conservatives find wrong to repugnant in our schools. The worst enemy in this arena has been Planned Parenthood, which is a leftist organiztion that has has great success promoting its failed brand of sex education and forcing it on the children of unwilling parents, and even on other countries being devastated by AIDS, where it continues not only to fail, but to make things worse. There are many others, mostly abortion rights groups and prohomosexual groups, but Planned Parenthood is the biggest.

    By Blogger Daniel Levesque, at 2:27 PM  

  • Progressive is a buzzword for "Socialist", which means "anything goes.

    Your argument is against yourself, Terbue, as your movement was always for free love, free drugs, free thinking anarchy.

    You do defend terrorists and by providing aid and comfort to them by knocking the efforts of our troops,
    you are by legal definition, a traitor, or , if not a citizen, then a fifth columnist/infiltrator/spy and not protected by any Constitutional provisions.

    Continue your attempts at confuscation, but it won't work here.

    We're too smart for that.

    Rave On

    Hooah

    By Blogger meesterjoneser, at 4:17 PM  

  • Daniel,

    There is within the church a whole progressive tradition from which I and my many progressive friends spring. We are not moral deviants. I am a faithful spouse and devoted father as are most of my married and/or parent friends. Including my homosexual friends.

    We are blindingly moral if you want to try to gauge it that way. We are not pro-promiscuity.

    We do hold different positions on abortion. Some, including me, being rather pro-life, others, a bit more pro-choice. But we all hold these positions out of love for the people and children involved.

    There is not a deviant amongst us.

    And yet that is the picture painted of "liberals." Are there some deviant liberals? Sure.

    The word for them would be libertines. Just as there are many libertine conservatives.

    Just keep that in mind as you read and maybe even write broad generalizations of "liberals." Demonization - even of W Bush - rarely helps.

    PD:

    My "movement" - the anabaptists - have indeed always been about God's Free Love and very much about Free Thinking. Not so much on the drugs, though.

    You have a problem with God's Free Love or Free Thinking, take it up with the Maker.

    By Blogger Dan Trabue, at 5:04 AM  

  • Well, though I try to limit my lewd comments, I think the comedian Dave Chappelle said it best when he said: "If ***** was a stock, the price would be plummeting because women have flooded the market."

    Just an observation here, but in my exploits in bachelorhood, I've noticed many women see sex as a way to gain acceptance or approval from a man. Not being a psychologist, I can only make uneducated inferances. It seems this may have something to do with the lack of parental involvement from fathers.

    It also seems that anytime you turn on MTV most of the women are barely dressed dancing around some rapper rapping about sex. It seems to convey the message that if you want to live a glamorous lifestyle with money, cars and jewels, that's how it should be done. i'm sure that also plays some part.

    I guess the bottom line is the reasons behind our societies sexual degeneration are infinite, but if I had to bet, I would put my money the idea that the current sexual climate is this generation paying for the free love of the sixties. Nothing is ever free. You either pay up front, or you pay in installments later. Hence my utter disdain for hippies.

    I guess I could wrong though.

    By Blogger fmragtops, at 6:58 AM  

  • Fmragtops,
    Excellent observations. Though I did not write about them, I have noticed many of the same things.

    By Blogger Daniel Levesque, at 7:13 AM  

  • Dan,
    The problem liberals are having with the way conservatives percieve them is due to the very loud, very aggressive far left. Good, decent liberals are very quiet, drowned and buried in the roar of the far left.
    I like to think I'm a reasonable man, and I am most definitely a staunch conservative. Still, I can't help but wonder why liberals who do not agree with the far left agenda are so quiet. We conservatives fight amongst ourselves all the time, always kicking about ideas and debating issues, but from what I see this does not happen much if at all on the liberal side of the house. This apparent lockstep behind the far-lefties creates the appearance of all liberals being like them.
    I hope you do not take my observations as a personal attack of any kind. But, if you want these observations to become irrelevant you, and others like you realy should do something about it.

    By Blogger Daniel Levesque, at 7:20 AM  

  • Ragtops, gotta love Chappelle.

    I'll now quote Dave Attel:

    "There are no prostitutes in a college town, there's too much amateur competition"

    Fact it, it's a horney world. And short of chastity belts for all, tain't nothing gonna stop it, or slow it down, except CONSERVATIVE CORE BELIEFS.

    That's the solution, folks.

    Hooah!

    By Blogger meesterjoneser, at 7:26 AM  

  • Daniel, I AM the far left and we go unheard from in the Democratic party, so I'm not sure what you're classifying as "Far Left."

    Kucinich, Moseley Braun, Nader, these are the few far left voices. They go unheard from. When was the last you heard them quoted or their ideas discussed in the media?

    One area where I'll agree with you is that progressives just do NOT talk about abortion. There is the one line: "Pro-choice" and anything else goes undiscussed.

    To the degree there is an issue, as you've outlined it, it has to do with progressives valuing other voices and other opinions. We may not agree with other opinions but we're "liberal" enough not to want to shut it down.

    For the most part, from this progressive's point of view, the Dems in power are mainstream corporate flunkies marginally better than the Republicans in power, but still part of the problem.

    By Blogger Dan Trabue, at 9:08 AM  

  • You say you disagree, but you don't speak out against them and their amoral ideas the way you speak out against war and air pollution. You should.

    By Blogger Daniel Levesque, at 12:22 PM  

  • I don't disagree with them on the matter of a sexually lax attitude as strongly as I disagree with war or abusing God's creation.

    I have stronger opinions about violence, abuse of power and the environment because these are more central to biblical and Christian teaching, from which I get my foundation.

    For all the chirruping and harrumphing about sex that the church does, it's not that clearly defined in the bible as one of the "big sins."

    I disagree with sexual immorality insofar as it's abusive of someone, or used as a toy, not as a method of sharing love between two mature individuals, or as a means of gaining control...for those sorts of reasons.

    I believe that the notion of a God sanctioned marriage between two committed individuals is a desired condition as opposed to bed-hopping, but really, if it's a matter of sin, at least it's only affecting two consenting adults. Lives aren't being lost. There's not nearly the matter of justice and life and death as there is in war and planet abuse.

    Does that better help define my position and why, when there are so many serious matters to deal with, that I don't have much time to deal with the more piddling sins?

    If you have time, sometime, I WOULD like to know what serious wrongs you're attributing to the "far left..." it might make for some interesting dialog.

    By Blogger Dan Trabue, at 5:14 AM  

  • Dan,
    Leviticus outlines the parts of God's Law that names every sexual sin, and everything but sex between a man and woman who are married to eacth other is specifically called sinful. As far as what wrongs I blame the far left for, those will be brought up in various debates of the week along with my position on the matter. Two such things have already been dicussed. Sin Taxes, and Taxes on Neccesities. Remember, it is our liberal politicians who are tax-happy.

    By Blogger Daniel Levesque, at 6:31 AM  

  • Leviticus outlines a bunch of stuff, some of which I agree with and some not. Just as you don't agree with everything in Leviticus (no shrimp, polyester, banks...we'd have to kill "men who lay together" and children who are disrespectful to their parents, etc).

    As to your last sentence, the Dems may be tax happy (again, we have VERY few far left liberals in office) but it's ALL our politicians who are spend-happy. And if we're gonna spend, the money's gotta come from somewhere.

    By Blogger Dan Trabue, at 9:51 AM  

  • That was so well put. You pretty much said it all...

    By Blogger Nunzia, at 7:12 PM  

  • Yeah, we gotta get them to quit spending our money so damn freely.

    By Blogger Daniel Levesque, at 9:43 PM  

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