Some Favorite Sayings
"There is no such thing as common sense because the common man has no sense."
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"If you stand by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will come floating by."
"I smoked, but I didn't inhale." (Okay, this one made the list because of how incredibly retarded it is.)
I will post the answers in the comments in 2 days.